Shabbat (final download)

On the Friday evening of Shabbat, we pray prayers that are mainly psalms from the Bible. These psalms thank G-d for the blessing of Shabbat, for the peace and rest it brings with it, for the time spent with our G-d, for family, for those who take Him seriously in their halachah.

Some of these prayers are specific to those seated at the table and for close family that may or may not be there. Although there are later personal prayers for the children and for the single adults, the last of these particular psalms prayed at our table are for the husband, prayed by the wife: Psalm 1 and/or Psalm 112. Before this, however, my husband prays a blessing over me: Proverbs 31:10-31. You know what it says. And toward the end, that chapter says, "Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."

I have a theory regarding the Shabbat prayers for the wife (which, incidentally, also applies to the prayers for the husband).

The wife has an opportunity to sit in the glow of that prayer as her husband prays it, as it tells all the work that she does. It starts with "An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above rubies." And my face glows. Then it goes on, and there are times when conviction sets in. Have I done well, as the woman my husband prays for? Have I done my best?

Then it gets to the part where it says, "Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates." And I know that the "fruit of [my] hands" will only be as good as I have made it and have given, except for two factors: the grace of our G-d and the blessing of my husband -- in spite of me.

But the other thing that prayer from Proverbs 31 does is help me -- it spurs me on! -- to do better, to improve, to have hope that I can be a better person somehow through the grace of G-d!

The fact is that when I receive praise from others, I want to cry out, "But I am not all that you have said! I am so needy of G-d's grace! I am so negligent at times! I live with me! I know What I am!" And I want to ask the person to take back their words. I know I am not "all that"!

Yet their words, their hope in what they believe they see in me, make me want to do better. Like the Proverb, I start wondering, "Can I become what they think I am?" I don't think I can, but admittedly, they spur me on to try.

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This is the last of the downloads from my journal.

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For fun: you have to see this!